Arrr, me hearties! Listen up, ye scallywags, for Blackbeard be here to teach ye the seven keys to better human relationships aboard this ship o' mine, or yer own ship! Keep it simple matey. Remember and apply these keys, and ye shall make friends everywhere ye go.

Number one, be to smile. Ahoy! A smile be like the sun breakin' through the clouds on a stormy sea. A smile be a universal language. It be spreadin' cheer amongst yer crewmates faster than rum at a tavern. When ye smile, ye be showin' that ye be approachable and friendly, makin' it easier for yer crew to come to ye with their troubles or ideas. It tells people that ye like 'em, ye be a friend, and ye mean 'em no harm.

Number two, make eye contact. They say that the eyes be the windows to the soul, and people want to know who ye really are, so when ye be talkin' to someone, look 'em straight in the eye! It be showin' 'em that ye be listenin' and that what they be sayin' matters to ye. Plus, it be helpin' to build trust amongst yer crew, makin' 'em feel valued and respected.

If ye don’t look 'em in the eye, they may get the impression that ye have something to hide, or that ye don’t care about 'em, or that ye aren’t being totally honest.

Hold on, just had a thought come across me head. Picture yerself at the helm of a small yacht. Cruisin' out of a coast harbor and headin' over to the islands, droppin' anchor in Dead Man’s Bay where Blackbeard meself stayed because of its beauty. Palm trees swayin' in the breeze, beautiful white sand beach, crystal clear, turquoise colored waters, so clear ye can see the bottom twenty feet down, snorkelin' with yer friends and family, can ye see it? Keep up the financial education with Blackbeard and it will all come true.

Aye, back to the keys. The third thing to remember, be to use a persons name when ye are talkin' to 'em. Aye, callin' someone by their name be like hoistin' their flag high atop the mast. It be showin' that ye see 'em as an individual, not just another face in the crowd. So remember the names of yer crewmates and use 'em often! People love to hear their name; it be a form of recognition, so use it when ye greet 'em and in yer conversation.

Complimentin' people be the fourth thing to improve yer people skills. Look for, and find, somethin' that ye like about 'em, and make it sincere. A well-placed compliment be like gold doubloons in the palm of a pirate. It be liftin' spirits and boostin' morale faster than a tailwind. So if ye see a mate doin' a fine job, let 'em know! It be makin' 'em feel appreciated and encouragin' 'em to keep up the good work. Kings and scallywags will remember things ye say about them for years, so say nice things that they will remember ye by. It is even more effective if ye say good things about people to someone else, who will tell that person what ye said about them.

Number five, ye need to touch people. Physical contact be important. In modern society, a firm handshake be a friendly greetin'. Now, I ain't sayin' ye need to be huggin' every scallywag ye meet, like some scurvy politician, but a friendly pat on the back or a hearty handshake can go a long way. It be showin' camaraderie and connection amongst yer crew, strengthenin' the bonds that hold the ship together.Don’t get into a squeeze contest, but let 'em know that ye be there. Did ye know that it is a proven fact that newborn babies that be not allowed to have any human contact, will digress and eventually die, even if they have every thing else that be necessary for them to grow?

The sad thing be that adults need human contact just as bad as babies; it just ain't quite so obvious. So shake peoples hands, pat 'em on the back, touch them on the arm, or put yer arm around their shoulders. Never do anything improper, but give the ladies a ‘shoulder hug’, side to side, or lean forward and give 'em a ‘neck hug’ and let them know ye care about 'em.”

Blackbeard meself made people feel good when they came into me presence. I smiled, was the first to reach out me hand, looked 'em in the eye, and complimented 'em. Folks said they couldn’t help but feel better about themselves after being around meself. I treat everyone like they be somebody important. They just may turn out to be very important.

The sixth thing would be to watch yer tone of voice. Ahoy, there! Mind how ye be speakin' to yer crewmates! A harsh word be like a cannonball to the hull—it be causin' damage that be hard to repair. So keep yer tone respectful and considerate, and ye'll be smooth-sailin' through any conversation. If ye don’t know how ye sound to others, record a few conversations for a few days, and see if ye would be attracted or turned off by the tone of voice ye yerself use. Yer tone can totally change the meaning of a word or a sentence.

Listen to these three simple words, ‘I love you’. With emphasis on ‘I’, the words would mean that ‘I’ love you, not Tom, not Sam. ‘I’ am the one that loves you. With emphasis on ‘love’, it would mean, I LOVE you, I don’t hate you, I don’t despise you, I LOVE you. With emphasis on ‘you’, it would mean, I love YOU, not Sally, not Jane, I love YOU.

The seventh thing to remember, last but not least, be genuinely interested in yer crewmates. Ask about their families, their dreams, their fears. It be showin' that ye care about more than just what they can do for ye—it be showin' that ye care about them as people. Ask questions to get 'em talking and then ye just shut up and listen. People love to talk about themselves and their interests, and nobody cares enough to listen to 'em. So give 'em your ear and they will consider ye to be their best friend.

Aye, conflict between people is inevitable. Ye never know what a day may bring in on the tide. But, me hearties, remember these seven principles well, for they be the compass that'll guide ye through the seas of human relationships aboard yer ship. Treat yer crewmates with kindness, respect, and understanding, and ye'll find that the winds of friendship be blowin' in yer favor. Onward we sail, me buccaneers!

And if, after using these seven keys, they still be yer enemy, feed 'em to the fishes! Arrrr